please folks - don't get your latest news from TikTok - chances are it's flawed. Let's check out the 'cold shower trend' and see what the science says...What are the benefits?
From a psychological perspective, using cool water (not ice cold) in the shower can be extremely beneficial for grounding purposes. Grounding is a psychological term we use to indicate getting ourselves back in our bodies and it is particularly helpful when we are stuck in the anxious spiral of our mind, and using temperature changes is also a component of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) which can be very helpful for emotion regulation. Warm water can be also be very soothing and relaxing, while cool water can 'wake up' the body and help a person be aware of their senses around them. We are not talking about hours here - we are talking about a couple of minutes of temperature change to make the person aware of their sense and out of the worry of the mind. This can be paired with other senses, such as noticing one's visual surrounding, what smells are in the air, what the water feels like on the skin, and what it sounds like as they hear the water. A full shower is also not necessary. Sometimes people can use a simple bowl of cool water and place their hands in it for a minute or splash some cool water on the face. These are all beneficial when the anxiety spin is in full force. Are there any people should should NOT take cold showers? Again, from a psychological perspective, we want to be aware that any extreme panic, fear, worry or anything of that nature requires more than simple grounding techniques. For this issues and concerns, involve a licensed professional on how to proceed. Anyone using any variance in water temperature as a grounding technique should always ensure they are medically cleared for such activity prior to engaging, and psychological professionals do not encourage extremes in temperature of burning hot or ice cold as this could be damaging to the skin, rather gentle changes that can shift our awareness to the body. There are people that may have cardiac conditions and other medical issues that may react poorly with significant changes to the norm of the body in any direction. Safety is always priority. What's the final vote? Well, using cool showers is great when it is done in moderation as ONE part of an entire grounding strategy. It was not invented by TikTok-ers so go to the real experts like the DBT researchers who understand the why behind it. Most importantly, a person needs many tools in their bag that can decrease stress - not just one. This cannot be your only tool - how often is a cool shower available when we are overwhelmed? Think more broadly and get a coping plan that involves behavioral tools as well as cognitive strategies and other helpful distractions. Contact KML or your provider if you need more help!
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next time you consider studying versus sleeping, read this first...I can tell you sleep is absolutely critical. There's no getting around it. The are many scientific theories around sleep and what it actually does. Some say the brain is reenergizing itself, others say it is cleansing the unnecessary information out as well as consolidating the necessary information together. I can tell you that my many years as a clinical psychologist and adjunct professor confirm the importance of sleep in consolidating information. There really is something to the idea of "I'll sleep on it and let you know in the morning." We can try to learn something the night before and struggle with it terribly, then wake up and it seems to all make sense. That is evidence for the consolidation theory around sleep. I have personally experienced this many times in my own like as an adult learner as well. As a result, it is my opinion that a person is far better off skipping the extra couple of hours of reviewing information you get from an all-nighter and instead refresh your brain with some important rest. All nighters really are not supported by the science and you'll go into the important day of the test, job interview or whatever you are cramming for with heavy eyelids and a slow brain. Chances are that rest will help you more!
Quick sleep hygiene tips!
Having sleep problems? Contact KML - we use CBT-I evidence-based insomnia treatment. Friday gratitude here in relation to POPSUGAR who allowed me to speak on my passion related to children. It's a wonderful article so please click on it. Here's the behind the scenes extended interview you didn't get to see....What are some common signs and symptoms of anxiety in children, and how can parents recognize these signs? What are some steps parents should take if they recognize anxiety in their kids? Would the kid's age change any of the signs/symptoms/steps to take? How might anxiety show beyond typical kid worries?
The most important thing when talking about mental health in children is to notice changes - whether it's anxiety, depression, or other issues there will be changes in how they interact. This could be physical changes like not sleeping well, changes in appetite, and not wanting to socialize in the same ways they would before. With children especially, we can see a shift in their independence - they may show a sudden separation anxiety and fear of doing things on their own they once did. Those are important changes to notice. School-age children might experience anxiety in terms of working about grades and tests in a manner that is excessive. Typical "kid worries" might be getting some butterflies in the tummy on the day of a standardized test and that resolves when the test is over, however the child with high anxiety might worry about that days or weeks in advance and not be able to let it go after the test ends. They might perseverate on what they got wrong and beat themselves up over a lack of perfection. Instead of some simple butterflies, highly anxious children might experience physical symptoms of headaches, knots in their stomach, tears and at times school refusal may be present. Because children are still developing emotionally and cognitively, they often are not fully aware or able to place in words what they are thinking or feeling. They might need help in being able to connect their worries about grades with the fact that they get a headache every morning as they are getting ready for school. How can parents create an environment for their kid to feel open to discussing their anxiety? Are there any strategies you can offer for how to help a parent navigate that conversation? Especially if the parent initiates the conversation about anxiety or their concerns. Any specific dos and don'ts for either? First, I would encourage parents to be kind to themselves too - just because your child is anxious does not mean you are a bad parent or that you did something wrong. The best of parents can have anxious children. It is far more important that you simply open a safe space for your child to express themselves. When talking to children, get on their level - sit down with them and maybe go into their space where they feel safe. Maybe have a talk in their room or sit outside in a place with little stimulation and few distractions- this ensures that the environment itself is set up for open discussion and safety. Using open-ended questions that encourage your child to open up can be very helpful. Often anxious children might be afraid to upset others, including their parents. So, we could say something like, "It seems like you're feeling a lot of things right now and I want you to know I am here. It's okay to 'feel all the feels.'" It can also be helpful to empathize with your child and let them know you are not perfect either. For example, "I might be a grown up, but I get scared sometimes too," by doing that you are modeling for them that feeling feelings is normal and healthy. Our feelings are not the problem but rather what we do with our feelings can lead to a problem if it's not healthy. When you are first starting to have conversations about these things, start slow and allow your child to slowly open up. Shift the goal from "fixing your child or their problem," to "listening to your child and creating an open space." That makes a world of difference in the reaction over time. One very important thing to certainly always do is to rule out if your child is developing anxiety or if they are experiencing a trauma reaction. Most often, it will be uncomplicated anxiety, but we want to rule those things out. So we can always ask a child directly in a gentle and caring tone, "has anything happened to you directly that is making your feel scared or unsafe right now?" If there is an unsafe situation happening than of course we manage those situations swiftly and with immediate professional guidance. Anxiety is also something that can gain power over time, so we want to help the child feel small wins "wow - you made it to school today without any headaches this morning - that's amazing!" Or "wow, I am so proud of how you used your deep breathing and positive self-talk to pull yourself out of the worry spiral!" Praise the wins so they begin to see how they are improving in time. In terms of "don'ts" - here we just want to stay away from trying to "fix" the child or make something go away overnight. Patience is key with shifting anxiety. I would also recommend never using a forceful or judgmental tone, or closed ended questions. That can increase the intensity of the anxious feelings. And, if you make a mistake in parenting and you could have handled something better, just own that. That can make a world of difference to your child. If a parent is worried about their child's anxiety, who should they contact? Their family doctor? What about any school resources? Would this be different for older kids or pre-teens? There are many options these days and often the parent can decide what they feel is best in alignment with their family values. Schools have many options - sometimes kids and teens have anxiety that is so extreme that it can impact their schooling process. Schools are aware of this and there are methods of managing this that can vary from school accommodations, to placement in exceptional student education programs to ensure that the child is helped to make school the safest place possible for them. Some schools also have counseling available and/or group therapy. In addition, therapists can help greatly! Anxiety is very responsive to treatment and the earlier it's caught the better the outcome! Therapy can focus on shifting unhelpful thinking styles, developing coping techniques to regulate one's nervous system (eg., deep breathing, grounding exercises, positive self-talk, etc), and lots of other things. In addition, your family doctor or psychiatrist can assist to discuss potential medication options that can also help to regulate the brain so that the person less likely to be in 'fight or flight' and more capable of using the coping techniques they have learned. The major point is that options exist and anxiety can be helped! With regards to older children and teens, the process is really the same. The differences are mostly going to be in adapting the language we might use to help the child open up about their worries. Older children and teens might also be more aware of what the thoughts are that are fueling their anxiety which can sometimes make it easier to reframe. I am grateful to have been interviewed recently in Forbes as stress relates to health outcomes. Here's the extended interview you didn't get to see.What Is Stress?
Stress is any state that impacts the nervous system and tells our body we need to act fast - either fight, fight or flee! Interestingly, stress does not always equal negative things. We can be equally stressed in our body by the most positive experiences in our lives, such as a wedding, birth of a baby, success in our business! Our body cannot distinguish between a happy stress or a negative stressor and it is up to our mind to mediate that and tell our body how to respond based on whether we see something as a challenge or a threat. Chronic vs. Acute Stress Acute stress is good! The body's mechanisms of fight/flight/flee are intended to protect us from the "tigers and bears" in front of us to keep us alive. Of course, we are no longer in the cave-days and therefore the "bears and tigers" today might be starting a new business or getting into a fight with our significant other or boss. The body responds in the same way despite the bear or fight with the partner - it becomes activated and that is important because it helps us manage the immediate stressor effectively. Our eyes become wide to take in new information, our body becomes energized to run away if needed, our mind shuts off so we just act on instinct. All of that is exactly what we want in the immediate stressor to survive. However, in the long term, these mechanisms lead to burnout and wear-and-tear on the body. Our mind becomes exhausted and our body starts to attack us leading to long term inflammation. This is seen in something called general adaptation syndrome noted by psychologist Dr. Seyle a long time ago! How Does Stress Impact the Body? We can end up experiencing general adaptation syndrome (GAD) where the body alarms in immediate stress to pump adrenaline to fight the bear/tiger, then in the resistance stage the body continues to try to repair itself from the pumping stress hormones. In some people, they continue to experience the stress longer than the system is made for and therefore the body is undergoing changes to try to accommodate it. If the stress reactions are not slowed then the body eventually becomes exhausted. This can lead to long term blood pressure changes, body inflammation, anxiety/panic disorder or depression and other conditions that negatively impact our health. Illnesses and Conditions Caused by Stress This is no joke! The science strongly supports the link of stress and negative health impacts. Stress has been associated with anxiety disorders, PTSD which has links to memory changes and brain changes, high blood pressure, cardiac changes, body inflammation, and many others! Tips on Managing Stress Try to look at situations in terms of a challenge versus a threat. That is very helpful to the body and body. Ask yourself what supports you have to manage this situation. Plan down time in your day as part of your schedule and start to see that downtime as just as important as any business meting you might have. Ask yourself, what would I recommend to someone I care about or how would I treat my child - then do that! We often treat others with more compassion and care than we do ourselves. Finally, simple things like square breathing and grounding (5-4-3-2-1) can be helpful to manage stress in the moment. Seek help if your stress has invaded your life. Professionals are there to assist whether it be psychologists or doctors! Let's talk truth about what shadow journaling is and is not, as well as whether shadow journal prompts are actually helpful. I was recently approached by Healthline to speak about this and I am expanding with a dissertation here! Happy reading friends! Why is shadow work trending? I am actually not sure! My speculation is that this generation of TikTok-ers has done a fairly decent job to destigmatize the concept of reflection and therapeutic actioning. I think that's awesome. From there, I would suspect a person with a large following and a great marketing strategy probably started the trend, like all things that "go viral." When it comes to psychological principles though, you have to be careful about all things 'self-help' - some things are intended to be done with a professional who can really help you unpack things in a healthy way. How did it start/who popularized it initially? The concept of the "shadow" has been around for a very long time. It was originally talked about by Carl Jung, who focused significantly on the unconscious mind and how the unconscious impacts us. He had some very interesting concepts, including the collective unconscious which helps to explain why we have 'shared fears,' for things like heights, spiders, etc. These are not new concepts and I sort of wonder what Dr. Jung would be thinking right now if he saw his work trending on TikTok??? What is shadow work and what is meant by the “shadow self”? I always commend young people for taking their own mental health into their hands and advocating for themselves. Gen Y and Z have forced people to listen and make changes - I mean that's pretty cool. However, playing in deep water when you don't know how to swim also has its dangers. Take it from me - I can't swim, so I have respect for the water and the fact that it is more powerful than I am capable of handling without the proper gear like my floaties, lifejacket and and lifeguard. What I am trying to say here is that this trend can impact you more than you think it will. The shadow is only one part of the self that Jung talked about - it's not the whole thing. We all have multiple parts to ourselves - we have various "masks" that we were that allow us to walk through the world and be productive people in work, with our friends, with our family, etc. You might be "the helper" in your friend group and your family, and you might be the "rescuer" in your relationships which could attract unhealthy partners and you could be "the perfectionist" in your work environment or school. These are all parts of the true you AND they are also masks we were to show the parts of ourselves we may feel comfortable with. The other side- the shadow- may be the parts of ourselves we don't necessary like or want to show the world. Some parts might be so unacceptable to us that they are buried deep and out of our awareness all together. Some parts of the deeply buried self may hold our ultimate pains, shame, fears, and trauma. We may use defense mechanisms to keep that pain hidden and cut off from us. Ever heard of denial? projection? rationalization? Well, those are defense mechanisms into to project our conscious self from our buried pains. And guess what? Those are there for a reason. If you start searching for stuff below the surface and you do not know what you are doing or why you are doing it, other than "everyone else is" then you may be in for an outcome you cannot handle. The desire to better yourself is fantastic but the "how" of doing that is the question here. Remember, the "shadow" is not visible to you - it's unconscious. That's the point of it. So, you can purchase a shadow journal with a couple of exercises and you may elicit some interesting thoughts but that's not unconscious work. That type of work takes time, commitment, trust and partnership. The shadow journal prompts are the tip of the iceberg - you then have to take this information and do something with it. That's where the partnerships and trust comes in. If it scares you to let others know your secrets then guess what? That is actually more important at times then your secrets themselves and that's your work to do. Understanding our masks, our shadows, what's below the surface of the iceberg is a lifelong process and it takes a professional who is equipped to help you explore your defense mechanisms that you cannot see. Another amazing way to start to really get under the surface of how you mask yourself is to do group work. In a group setting, you will start to be impacted by the personalities of others - who bothers you? who do you feel immediate connection with? who can you simply not stand even the sound of their breathing? That's the work and it cannot be done on one's own. What are the benefits of shadow work? When supported by a professional the following is possible....
When should we hit the brakes and say 'no' to the trend? When people are in the immediate throws of a serious psychological issue - whether it be eating disorder, addiction, trauma, etc., then the first thing is always stabilization. You don't open up more doors that can lead to emotional unraveling. You work on stabilizing the immediate concern and then you look at the underlying issues that are impacting the person on a deeper level. Ultimately, at KML, you will always hear us consistently say the same thing in any space we have a voice, and that is to not participate in trends or psychological things because you see then online. Do your research from credible sources and follow up with the advice of a licensed professional. Your mental health is one of the most important things you have in this life! You deserve it! |
OPEN DISCUSSION REGARDING TODAY'S HOT TOPICS!Dr. Kelsey explores the actual science behind today's "hot topics". She also explores deep dive behind some of her featured media topics. Come aboard to see the simple solutions to complex problems! Categories
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